Christmas may seem very far from
your minds on this summer day, but I want to begin today by recalling one of
the most enduring — and most ridiculed — Christmas traditions. It’s the holiday
confection so many people love to hate: fruitcake.
The humble fruitcake is the butt of
a thousand jokes.
“There is only one fruitcake in the
entire world,” quipped Johnny Carson, “and people keep sending it to each
other, year after year.”
“Why does fruitcake make the perfect
gift? Because the U.S. Postal Service hasn’t found a way to damage it.”
If you’re a fan of David Letterman’s
Top 10 Lists, you’ll like this one: The top 10 uses for holiday fruitcakes:
10. Use slices to balance that
wobbly kitchen table.
9. Use instead of sand bags during a
hurricane.
8. Send to U.S. Air Force, let
troops drop them.
7. Use as railroad ties.
6. Use as speed bumps to foil the
neighborhood drag racers.
5. Collect 10 and use them as
bowling pins.
&nbs
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