We all need to eat just to survive. Eating together almost always involves something more than nutrition, however. When we eat together, we learn about human nature. Eating together reveals deeper understandings of our relationships. On a first date, for example, people usually sit apprehensively at dinner to start things off. In between small talk and nervous laughter, they notice table manners. Where do the elbows end up? How does the prospect treat the server? What size tip gets tucked under the plate? What you notice at that first dinner can affect the rest of your life.

            If we walk into a high school cafeteria, we can see a laboratory of humanity. Who sit together? Which ethnic groups keep their distance from one another? Does anyone notice the shy girl who sits by herself? In just a few minutes, we can see who fits in and who doesn’t. Some invisible hand has drawn the lines, and in the cafeteria, and we see them.

            Likewise at wedding receptions. Occasionally a problem breaks out during the ceremony itself, but more often, if trouble starts, it’s at the reception when everyone eats. How well do the new families like each other? Which faces wear forced smiles? What tensions that first pop up at the reception will end up hurting the now-exhausted couple in the long run?

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